Just Another Day In Paradise: November 2008

Well I know it's a little Early but I figured I would do it anyway.

Things I am thankful for...

Family- People to laugh with, play with, stay with, cry with and even EAT with! Thanks for all the support and goodies!

The Internet- Making this deployment a piece of cake.

HBO-Making the boredom bearable

Grass- After growing it in Iraq I will never look at grass the same way!

Bottled Water- People say that it's not any better for you than regular water. They wern't talking about Iraq!

Kimber- Giving me money and laughter for three AWESOME summers! For teaching me responsibility when I was an ignorant cus!

Joe- Hope we get to go shooting sometime soon

Josh- Always having work to keep me busy on Leave and Books on tape!

Kara-For always being! For an introduction to Techno...I love it. For being extra thoughtful and creative. Thanks again for the cards. they are AWESOME

Cami-For being a Pen pall when I needed it the most!

Kellie-For saving me my senior year! For always being honest. For movie lines and gaming good times! For always being nice even when you were really mad. For late night Alias and Ice Cream!

Jim and Jake- Paving the way for my Military Career. I may compete a lot and talk a lot of trash but thank you so much for your service! Best brothers a guy could have.

Kate- For always offering a place to stay! For late night talks. For an AWESOME summer and an even better Christmas and New Years!

Jared- For covering for me so much! Oh the trouble I would have got in High School! For pushing me to be a good example. For choosing to serve when you had other great options! For showing me true faith!

Mom and Dad- For not stopping at 9! For putting up with my crap for so long. Dad for teaching me to work hard and to finish what I start. Mom for teaching me to love reading! Mom for rocking me in her chair when I KNOW it must be uncomfortable. For teaching me to love board games. For supporting my decisions even when they seemed completely insane!

The Marines-I love Marines. They are the best kind of people. What a great decision on my part! Turned out A-okay!

Love all you guys Happy Thanksgiving!

Well I Finally got Kara's present and it was AWESOME!
Since you EVERYBODY already knew I won't go into detailm Kara can do that. THANKS SO MUCH SIS! I love Pictures AND my beloved Corps. Way to integrate the two!

In other news the Marine Corps Times for the Ball FINALLY got here. Every year they do the reasons we love the Corps in the birthday edition. It just fot here today so that is why it is late. Anyway, a lot of these only make sense to Marines but some are very funny as well. I encourage you to make it all the way through.

I have modified it because it was really long and most of it only Marines understand!

November 11, 2008

233 Reasons and Counting

... to love the Corps.

On Nov. 10, the Marine Corps turns 233 years old. Ever since it was formed in a Philadelphia bar in 1775, the Corps has given us countless reasons to take pride in the heritage of 'our beloved Corps'.

There is no shortage of instances in which Marine units and individuals have distinguished themselves in battle, but the bragging rights earned over the past 233 years weren't all born on the battlefield.

The Corps' culture sets it apart from other branches of the military in ways that those who have never earned the eagle, globe and anchor find difficult to fully understand. But what is obvious to even the most casual observer is that Marines distinguish themselves through their unique appearance, spirit and accomplishments.

To know the Corps is to love the Corps, which is why Marine Corps Times compiled the following list of 233 reasons to stand proudly at this year's birthday ball.

1. Cpl. Jason Dunham. First Marine to receive the Medal of Honor since Vietnam. If jumping on a grenade to save a buddy isn't worth the top of the list, nothing is.

2. Civilians have to find time to go to the gym. Marines get paid to go.

4. There's no such thing as an "ex" Marine.

5. Re-enlistment rates are higher IN the war zone.(Thats because you don't have to pay taxes on your bonus!)

7. Jalapeño cheese.(heehee)

9. Lump-sum re-enlistment bonuses up to $80,000. Many of you would consider doing it for free.

13. Barracks parties on non-payday weekends.(because you spend ALL you money on paydays)

18. The lance corporal underground.(oh the things you can learn!)

22. "No better friend, no worse enemy."

23. Typhoons approaching Okinawa often spark islandwide beer runs.

25. Gen. James Jones, who followed his tour as commandant with appointment as "supreme intergalactic overlord" (OK, it was Supreme Allied Commander, Europe, but close).

26. 10 rounds from the 500-yard line.

28. To civilians, every Marine is recon.

29. Recruiting in Texas is like hunting at the zoo.

33. Motivating television commercials.

34. The "horse shoe" haircut, gone but not forgotten.(OOH-RAH 1st SGT)

36. Running cadences that mention napalm. And Eskimos.(heehee)

37. Stories that begin with, "So there I was ..."

39. The transformation. Who you are when you join is not nearly as important as who you become.

41. If you've been on liberty in Twentynine Palms, you've been on liberty in Yuma and Barstow, too.

44. Women in Manhattan have all seen the Fleet Week episode of "Sex and the City."

47. The occasional free beer. Wear your blues into a bar and see what happens.

48. After decades of debate, there remains no resolution on whether sand fleas trump "The Reaper."(Hell No)

50. Cpl. Gareth Hawkins, lying on a stretcher after an IED shattered his leg, demanded re-enlistment before medical evacuation. And got it.

51. Whereas Army, Navy and Air Force jokes are funny, Marine jokes are potentially dangerous.

53. That troublesome "10 percent," making good Marines look great since 1775.

54. Everyone at a high school reunion is obliged to justify his last 10 years, except the guy wearing alphas.

55. As if ranks that include the words "master" and "gunnery" aren't intimidating enough on their own, the Corps uses them both. At once.(OOH-RAH Master Guns!)

56. Soldiers have Hooah Bars. Marines have Ka-Bars. The second will generally get you the first.

57. The dress code. You can wear your cammies to meet the commandant or repair a tank.

58. From "Aliens" to "Doom," the future vision of warfare almost always includes Space Marines.

59. The Corps was formed in a bar.

61. Give a Marine some free time, and he'll rip down your dictator's statue.

62. If it ain't raining, we ain't training.

64. Duty station garden spots: Jacksonville, N.C.; Yuma, Ariz.; Bridgeport, Calif.; Twentynine Palms, Calif. (Yes, we're kidding.)

65. Making morning PT on time.(Hardest part of my job!)

66. Recruiters who promise everything EXCEPT a rose garden.

67. Mustangs #1. It's easier to take crap from a CO who went to boot camp.

69. Gen. Peter Pace, the first Marine chairman of the Joint Chiefs. He left his four-star insignia with his fallen comrades at the Vietnam Wall when he retired.

71. Nothing says "Good morning" like a mouthful of Copenhagen and freeze-dried coffee.

72. Nothing says "I love you" like a welcome home sheet hanging on a chain-link fence.

73. Bill Barnes. In June, the former Marine beat the crap out of a 27-year-old pickpocket who tried to make off with his dough. Oh yeah, he's 72.

78. Front toward enemy. It's not just a visual reference on a Claymore mine, it's a Marine Corps way of life.

80. Fred Smith, founder of FedEx. Only a former Marine could truly appreciate the value of getting your mail on time.

83. Chuck Norris was in the Air Force. Steve McQueen was a Marine.(AWESOME!)

84. The Crucible.

90. Arty guys who do civil affairs. They blow it up, then they fix it. Circle of life.

91. Service Charlies. They look so good, the Navy's copying 'em.

92. Fake Marines. No one eats 'em up faster than real Marines.

93. John Lovell. A 71-year-old former Marine is sitting in a Subway restaurant when two armed men try to rob the place. Lovell grabs his .45, kills one and wounds the other. No word on how Lovell's sandwich fared.

94. 3rd Battalion, 5th Marines. Six Navy Crosses so far. Six.

97. Body-fat standards. Everyone hates them, until they see a fat Marine.

98. "Jarhead." Only a former Marine could write a war story about not fighting anyone and make it last for 200 pages, then get Jamie Foxx to star in the movie.

99. The Stumps. The Rock. The Sandbox. Oh, the places you'll serve.

101. Tattoos #2. Getting a fallen friend's name tattooed on your other forearm, and knowing the same.

102. The new PT running suit. Sure, the Army had them first, but the Army gets most things first.

103. Marine expeditionary units: The cheapest cruise you'll ever take.

109. 30 days' paid vacation, plus federal holidays off, is obscene by civilian standards.

110. Maj. Gen. Marion E. Carl, the Corps' first fighter ace. First Marine to fly a helicopter. Two Navy Crosses, five Distinguished Flying Crosses, 14 air medals. In 1998, the 82-year-old was killed during a home break-in when he jumped in front of a shotgun blast aimed at his longtime wife, Edna.

111. Tattoos #4. Reaction to the new policy: Conway says sleeves are going away, Marines run for the chair. Tattoo parlors never saw so much business.

113. Guaranteed pay raises.

115. Having a WWII Marine say he's proud of you

118. A Red Stripe is a beer, mon. A Blood Stripe is a symbol of pride.

120. You watched "300," and it reminded you of your unit.

122. Combat marksmanship. You are creeping death. And you get graded on it.

123. Never lost six nukes on a plane.

125. Give a Marine enough free time, and he'll marry your Bahraini princess.

126. Go to YouTube. Type in "bored Marines." Enjoy.

127. When the president gets on a helicopter, it's not called "Army One."

129. Camouflage. You can camouflage anything and make it cool.

134. In combat, the division band becomes a heavy-machine-gun platoon.

135. What do headaches, broken bones, infectious diseases, missing limbs and hurt feelings all have in common? Motrin. Thanks, Doc.

137. Global instability equals job security.

139. The honor, privilege and responsibility of leading, mentoring and caring for junior Marines.

140. Gunnery sergeants. Don't know the answer? Ask the gunny. Need something? Ask the gunny. In trouble? Avoid the gunny.

142. The line to get "tazed" at a military gear expo. Marines will do anything for a free T-shirt.

143. Deployment reunions. Like reliving your wedding night. Sweet!

146. Marine Security Guards #2. They're not cute and cuddly, but when they greet you at the door, it's like getting a great big hug from the United States of America, no matter where you are.(just ask Kells)

147. The Mameluke sword. Distinctive.

148. The NCO sword. Earned, never given.(OOH-RAH)

151. MRE crackers. Hard as Milk Bones but much tastier. You can almost feel your teeth getting cleaner as you eat 'em.

154. The slogans: "The Few, The Proud, The Marines." "We're Looking For a Few Good Men," "Once a Marine, always a Marine," "Tell that to the Marines." If they could only purchase the rights to Hallmark's "When You Care Enough to Send the Very Best."

155. Speaking of slogans, "The Few, The Proud, The Marines" beat out such notables as Nike's "Just Do It" and Burger King's "Have It Your Way" for a 2007 spot on the advertising Walk of Fame. Better luck next year, losers.

159. While field-grade officers are at the company office, company-grade officers are in the field.

160. Colonels who can take a joke.

161. Free flu shots. And smallpox shots and anthrax shots …

166. If you ambush Capt. Brian Chontosh's boys, he's going to take off his Navy Cross and kill you. Then, he's going to pick up your rifle and kill your buddies. Then, he's going to pick up your buddy's rifle and kill your buddy's buddies. Then, he's going to pick up a rocket-propelled grenade launcher …

167. Speaking of the Navy Cross, a combat award second only to the Medal of Honor, Marines have earned 15 so far in Iraq, plus one in Afghanistan. Of the six awarded to sailors for those combat zones, five went to SEALs, and one went to a corpsman who exposed himself repeatedly to enemy fire to evacuate and treat wounded Marines.

189. Camaraderie. Marines will hook you up with their sisters, then punch you in the mouth for doing what they knew would happen the whole time.

190. Ingenuity. MRE bombs, 101 uses for cleaning rods and iPods wired into field radio speakers.

196. Every day in the Corps is another reason to celebrate. That's why they call them working "parties."

198. The U.S. Army Band is called "Pershing's Own." The U.S. Marine Corps Band is called "The President's Own."

199. "8th and I." Ten bucks says you have no idea where the Army chief of staff lives. Commandants don't hide.

201. The poncho liner. It's a blanket, it's a tent, it's a keeper.

204. Navy Lt. Vincent Capodanno, Medal of Honor recipient. If Marines have a hot line to heaven, Father Capodanno — aka the Grunt Padre — would take the call. His body peppered by shrapnel, his right hand nearly severed, the Navy chaplain and priest crisscrossed a Vietnam battlefield Sept. 4, 1967, to render last rites to his fallen Marines and corpsmen with 3rd Battalion, 5th Marines, until 27 rounds from an enemy machine gun took his life. Last year, the Vatican declared him a "servant of God." Next step, sainthood?

206. Amphibious warfare means always being near the beach.

210. Slapping an eagle, globe and anchor on the back of your car and knowing it'll get you out of at least one speeding ticket.

211. The Navy wants to put Marines back on warships. It seems that Tomahawk cruise missiles can't do everything.

216. If you need another occupying land force, you can use the Marine Corps. If you need another rapidly deployable, sea-based, front-door-kicking, air-ground team, you can't use the Army.

221. "Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Weinburg? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to." Jack Nicholson, "A Few Good Men."

222. Maj. Meghan McClung, Marine public affairs officer, killed by a roadside bomb in Iraq while escorting media. The PAO is more than just a spokesman.

223. Sgt. Rafael Peralta. Like Dunham, he hugged a grenade to save his buddies in Iraq. No Medal of Honor … yet.

225. Call signs like "Spider" and "Assassin," and these guys were generals.

233. Your sons is an NCO your other son is almost a Marine

You made it!